This is the new WWII memorial
Honest Abe himself giving Danny a nuggie
We moved out to Virginia last week work for AMP Alarm-- selling home security systems. So far, we have enjoyed it alright, and we are excited to explore the area we are in, about 20 minutes outside of D.C.
I would like to take this time to comment on a few key figures we have met since we have been out here in the grand old state of VA.
The first character who comes to mind is a man we met on our second day out here. He came to the door with his shirt off. His skin was as white as freshly fallen snow with the exception of his bald head, face, and neck, which were fried crispy. He had a perfect goggle line sun tan line. And by sun TAN I obviously mean fry. He was probably 100 lbs overweight, and was covered in hair from his waist line up. Minus the top of his head, of course. He was wearing corduroy pants with a chain connecting to his wallet. It is possible that he stuck his finger in his belly button at least 3 times while I spoke with him on his door step. But, my most favorite part of all was his serious case of plumbers crack. Which was extended at least 4 inches. Yeah. That’s all I have to say about that.
Another favorite character I have encountered was a man who stood out on his porch and listened to Danny’s sales pitch for a good 15 minutes (aka wasted 15 minutes of our time). He was probably 35 years old, bald, and considerably overweight. At the end of Danny’s sales pitch the man said, “You know, I am really not interested. But good job!” and reached out to shake his hand. Hi I am 5 years old.
Next, a man who goes by “Norman.” His real name is too hard for lazy American's to pronounce. He was a tough guy to get through a sale. Probably because he is so smart. Smart enough in fact that he seems to think that he knows everything. About every company. Everywhere. He was from India and has lived in America for about 7 years. So he also knows everything about every person in America. Yeah. He turned out to be pretty rad. He had a beagle that he wanted to introduce us to. “Wife, where is beagle?” He reminded me of Apu on the Simpsons.
I would like to take this time to comment on a few key figures we have met since we have been out here in the grand old state of VA.
The first character who comes to mind is a man we met on our second day out here. He came to the door with his shirt off. His skin was as white as freshly fallen snow with the exception of his bald head, face, and neck, which were fried crispy. He had a perfect goggle line sun tan line. And by sun TAN I obviously mean fry. He was probably 100 lbs overweight, and was covered in hair from his waist line up. Minus the top of his head, of course. He was wearing corduroy pants with a chain connecting to his wallet. It is possible that he stuck his finger in his belly button at least 3 times while I spoke with him on his door step. But, my most favorite part of all was his serious case of plumbers crack. Which was extended at least 4 inches. Yeah. That’s all I have to say about that.
Another favorite character I have encountered was a man who stood out on his porch and listened to Danny’s sales pitch for a good 15 minutes (aka wasted 15 minutes of our time). He was probably 35 years old, bald, and considerably overweight. At the end of Danny’s sales pitch the man said, “You know, I am really not interested. But good job!” and reached out to shake his hand. Hi I am 5 years old.
Next, a man who goes by “Norman.” His real name is too hard for lazy American's to pronounce. He was a tough guy to get through a sale. Probably because he is so smart. Smart enough in fact that he seems to think that he knows everything. About every company. Everywhere. He was from India and has lived in America for about 7 years. So he also knows everything about every person in America. Yeah. He turned out to be pretty rad. He had a beagle that he wanted to introduce us to. “Wife, where is beagle?” He reminded me of Apu on the Simpsons.
And last but certainly not least, old crotchety Mr. Berry. I was explaining to him (and his wife) how their alarm system would work and casually said "you guys" (which i say to every customer, ever. the exact same line) he stopped dead in his tracks, violently threw down his book, and proceeded to tell me how much he hated white people, that I was a racist, he was my superior and i better address him as "Sir." Ok crazy eyes. I just walked out in the middle of him talking. So that was fun.
We are having a swell time here so far, lots of adventures! We miss everyone and can’t wait to play in August!!
We are having a swell time here so far, lots of adventures! We miss everyone and can’t wait to play in August!!
2 comments:
How do you come across crazies like that everyday of your life?? Only you would find them :)
Amber! Seriously-you are so racist... I can't believe you called Mr. Berry a guy... who does that!?
Haha oh man that makes my whole day!
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