Enough is enough.

That is it people. If I hear one more person talk about being on the "lemon juice cleanse" diet I am going to karate chop some throats. How long is this trend going to last? Where is your dadgum common sense?

For those of you who may not have heard of said diet and may be at risk of hearing about it and trying it, here is the deal:

It's been around since the 70s. So its nothing new and exciting.
"The Master Cleanse is a liquid diet. It involves drinking 6 to 12 glasses a day of a lemonade concoction containing lemon juice, maple syrup, water, and a little cayenne pepper. The total daily intake is roughly equivalent to the juice of 3 lemons per day and 3/4 to 1 1/2 cups of maple syrup per day (does that last part sound intelligent???- Danny). Other than the lemonade drink, a herbal laxative and a salt water drink are recommended as part of the daily regimen."

SICK.

Further, you are suppose to stay on the diet for 10-40 days. In other words, YOU DO NOT EAT ONE THING FOR 10-40 DAYS.

First things first, maple syrup is nothing but sugar. For a 1/4 c serving, you are consuming 53 grams of sugar! That means you are getting basically 160 or more grams of sugar a day.. without ANY vitamins A, D, C. You are getting a tiny tiny amt of calcium and Niacin. That is it. Why don't you just eat a Costco sized bag of skittles and at least enjoy the taste! They probably have more vitamin C anyways. In summary, you are not getting anywhere near the amount of nutrients you need. The more nutrients you obtain, the better your skin will look, the hotter your body will be, and dang you will just FEEL better. You need da nutrients daily!

Now, 3 lemons a day? For 40 days? Say goodbye to your teeth. That is all I have to say about that.

Do you know what happens when you start eating like a normal human being again? You gain weight. Immediately.You get FATTER. Your body goes into starvation mode on this diet and the second you put some real food in your body, it is going to store it to try to save your body from the horrendous trauma you are putting it through.

"Most nutritionists advise against a prolonged fast or liquid diet. One of the most common concerns is the lack of nutrients, protein, and calories in the diet. Having 6 glasses of the lemonade beverage provides a mere 650 or so calories. One of the potential side effects of rapid weight loss is the formation of gallstones. The book mentions a person who passed gallstones on the 24th day on the Master Cleanse that 'he didn't know he had.' The gallstones were likely due to the diet itself." (Cathy Wong, Medicine Guide)

Common side effects to the diet: sores in the mouth, feeling tired or fatigued, and having body aches. Sounds fun. Go ahead and give that a try.

If you want to lose weight or "cleanse" yourself, the best thing you can do for your body is be nice to it. Stop eating nasty greeeeezy sugary fatty food and start eating some effing vegetables and fruit. And don't over eat! And don't feel bad if you need to have a bowl of ice cream once in a while.
Also, get off your A and go work out.
Also, get some dang sleep.
Quit drinking this nasty crap. It doesn't even work. You might lose weight while you are on it, but you will gain it back. Promise.

Good Grief.