For the past couple of weeks, I had really been doubting whether I was actually going to go through with it. I didn't feel like I had trained enough and I was way more nervous than I was last time. Probably because this time I knew what to expect. Ju know.
I don't think I really committed to the marathon until about mile 17 of the actual race.
At mile 14, I had a crazy pain in my lower back that was slowly making its way up my spine. I lightly cried for about 3 miles. It was excruciating. So excruciating in fact, that at mile 17 I sat at the aid station and bawled mine eyes out. I didn't think I was going to be able to finish. I was pretty furious. Ive spent the past 16 weeks training and I just felt wayy frustrated that I couldn't finish, but it just hurt so bad!
Then I quit being a sissy and I got up. I felt a little better, but because I had sat, the rest of my body had basically cramped up. I was already sore and had 9.2 more miles to run. So that wasn't ideal.
The whole time I just had to keep telling myself I could do it. And i was just wondering why the freak I enjoy torturing myself.
about 50 yards away from the finish line, something inside me just snapped. Without even thinking, my legs started sprinting. I don't know how they did it! I was in so much pain. I crossed the finish line and literally collapsed into the arms of this old man. They made me chill in the medical tent for a bit since I couldn't stand. I touched my face and realized it was pretty wet and gross feeling with tears, snot, and salt residue.
Crossing the finish line made me remember why I love torturing myself. All the physical and mental pain that was relentless through out the race was worth it. It just felt good knowing that I had given literally every thing inside me. I think this is one of the only times in my life where I have actually given my VERY best. Not just where i try hard and do pretty good, but i gave it everything. And it just felt good! And i beat my time last year by 20 mins so that was sweet too.
Thank you hubsy, Hope, Kenz, Kim & Jesse, Willi, Laci, brother & Aly for coming out to cheer me on!