Sunday, October 31, 2010


Sometimes I wonder why we celebrate birthdays. Everyone has one, so is it really that special? I understand people wanting to celebrate on the actual day of birth, but is it necessary to do it every year? Further, no one had to do anything to be born. If we are going to celebrate anything, it should be a celebration for moms. Afterall, they dealt with 9 months of us bouncing on their bladders and practicing kung fu on their insides. Not to mention the barfy-ness, nausea, psycho cravings and hormones. Also the hours and hours of contractions and the actual birthing process.
Next time it is my birthday, I am just going to give my mom a hug and say "hey, thanks for giving birth to me. Happy birthday." And maybe i'll bake her a cake.

Also, this is my 100th post. So cheers.
Also, Happy Halloweenie!

p.s. Danny- this does not get you off the hook for my birthday next year

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How Boys are Different than Girls

Mondays stink in that I leave at 6 in the am, and then get home around 5 in the pm. Danny leaves for work at 4 in the pm and gets home at 8 in the pm.
So, translation, we kiss each other good night on Sunday and then don't see each other til the next night at 8. Me no likey.

Today I had a great idea. I was going to throw Danny a Halloween party! The only downside is that I had to wait for Danny to get home because he had the car (I bus to SLC for my job) so that I could go to the store and get everything we would need to party hard halloween style. Once I threw a party for just myself and Danny last summer when we lived in DC. I thought it was pretty epic.

Danny came in the door tonight.
"Danny! Hi! Lets have a Halloween party!"
"Okay... why?"

Hmm. That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for.
"Fine. Lets have a halloween FHE." (I knew this approach would be more succesful since FHE is something you are supposed to do.)
Ok. That will be fun.

So I ran to the store and got all the things I needed for our Halloween party. We were going to have mummies in a blanket for dinner (pigs in a blanket, just wrapped mummy style)
Here is how the assembling of said mummies went:

Guess which ones I made and which ones Danny made.
I was like Danny.. they are supposed to be mummies!To which he responded, "well.. they taste the same" haha. I love him.
Next, we (and I use the term we very, very loosely) were going to make and decorate halloweenish cupcakes. After they were done baking, Danny came into the kitchen, put frosting on one, jabbed a kit kat into it, and stuffed it into his face like this:
when he was finished, he said "I'm full" and walked back into the living room to do homework.
And that is the difference between boys and girls. Oh well at least I can party with myself. I turned up the IHome and went to town. Here is how the rest of the cupcakes turned out:
 My favorite is the tree.
Happy Halloween 2010.

p.s. Danny is not a jerk. He just actually cares about doing homework like a good boy should. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

Think then Speak. Or... Don't Speak.

The time has come for me to have a heart to heart with the majority of Provo, particularly females ages 18-20. Actually, I am confident that this could be extended to anyone living anywhere at all. Please do not be offended if you are guilty of having said either of these two awful cliche phrases. Know that (with literally the smallest amount of effort on your part) you can change.

Let us begin with annoying cliche phrase number one.

"Everything Happens for a Reason"

Uh... kind of. But usually things happen because of you. Often, things happen for a reason and the reason is you made a choice. And the reason you are saying this phrase if often that you have done something stupid and therefore something crappy has happened to you. 

Allow me to defend my statement; here are some examples and reasons pertaining to why "things" usually happen (in no particular order)

YOU are an idiot.
And hey, that's okay! We all are. We all do dumb things. But let's not dump our poor choices into a phrase that states the obvious.
YOU did something you weren't suppose to do. And that "thing" has consequences:
YOU are fat because you eat too much. That is why fatness "happened" to you. That is the reason. Now, don't be so hard on yourself. Get up and go to the gym. Its all good. Fatness can be overcome.
YOU got pregnant because you didn't practice birth control. Not because it was meant to be. I feel like I don't need to explain this further.
YOU failed your test because YOU didn't study enough. Why on earth else would this happen??
Your boyfriend broke up with YOU because YOU cheated on him, he didn't like you, you guys weren't compatible, etc. There are bucketfuls of reasons. Lets not be victims. It didn't work out, so good thing you didn't marry him. But if you cheated, or you did something stupid, own up to it, apologize, and move on. And know THAT is why that happened to you. 
Stopppp using this cliche phrase. It doesn't even make sense. And you are not a victim.
People who don't take responsibility for their actions are annoying.

The next item up for discussion, which is doubly annoying because it takes half of the amount of thought as the previous phrase:

"I know, right?!"
I know right?
I know, right!
I know! Right?

What are you even trying to say? Do you need me to confirm that "you know" something? Or are you saying that you know what's right?
Why do you say this phrase??
I turned to the ever trusty  urban dictionary to clarify the meaning of the phrase. It proved useful for all intents and purposes. 

1. I know, right?  :
A way to express the concept of "yes" if you are not quite articulate enough to say that mighty imposing word.
2. I know, right?  :
An affirmation that you agree with or can relate to the preceding statement. It can be used whether the speaker actually knows or not, but in the latter case it usually means that the speaker can attribute the preceding statement to themselves as well. 
and my personal favorite:

3. I know, right?  :
The stupidest saying in the entire world. Also shortened to "right?" because the proles who chose to use this word and too lazy to use proper English.
Jack: Dude, I just got a 50 percent on my math quiz.

Jackie: I know, right?

Jack: Wait, what? 
 I think what bothers me most about this phrase is that it comes from the movie Mean Girls. Mean Girls! Regina George says it. Now, is that who you want to end up like? Regina George? Did you see that movie? She gets hit by a bus!

In summary, stop using these mindless phrases. Or you will be hit by a bus.