Monday, October 25, 2010

Think then Speak. Or... Don't Speak.

The time has come for me to have a heart to heart with the majority of Provo, particularly females ages 18-20. Actually, I am confident that this could be extended to anyone living anywhere at all. Please do not be offended if you are guilty of having said either of these two awful cliche phrases. Know that (with literally the smallest amount of effort on your part) you can change.

Let us begin with annoying cliche phrase number one.

"Everything Happens for a Reason"

Uh... kind of. But usually things happen because of you. Often, things happen for a reason and the reason is you made a choice. And the reason you are saying this phrase if often that you have done something stupid and therefore something crappy has happened to you. 

Allow me to defend my statement; here are some examples and reasons pertaining to why "things" usually happen (in no particular order)

YOU are an idiot.
And hey, that's okay! We all are. We all do dumb things. But let's not dump our poor choices into a phrase that states the obvious.
YOU did something you weren't suppose to do. And that "thing" has consequences:
YOU are fat because you eat too much. That is why fatness "happened" to you. That is the reason. Now, don't be so hard on yourself. Get up and go to the gym. Its all good. Fatness can be overcome.
YOU got pregnant because you didn't practice birth control. Not because it was meant to be. I feel like I don't need to explain this further.
YOU failed your test because YOU didn't study enough. Why on earth else would this happen??
Your boyfriend broke up with YOU because YOU cheated on him, he didn't like you, you guys weren't compatible, etc. There are bucketfuls of reasons. Lets not be victims. It didn't work out, so good thing you didn't marry him. But if you cheated, or you did something stupid, own up to it, apologize, and move on. And know THAT is why that happened to you. 
Stopppp using this cliche phrase. It doesn't even make sense. And you are not a victim.
People who don't take responsibility for their actions are annoying.

The next item up for discussion, which is doubly annoying because it takes half of the amount of thought as the previous phrase:

"I know, right?!"
I know right?
I know, right!
I know! Right?

What are you even trying to say? Do you need me to confirm that "you know" something? Or are you saying that you know what's right?
Why do you say this phrase??
I turned to the ever trusty  urban dictionary to clarify the meaning of the phrase. It proved useful for all intents and purposes. 

1. I know, right?  :
A way to express the concept of "yes" if you are not quite articulate enough to say that mighty imposing word.
2. I know, right?  :
An affirmation that you agree with or can relate to the preceding statement. It can be used whether the speaker actually knows or not, but in the latter case it usually means that the speaker can attribute the preceding statement to themselves as well. 
 
and my personal favorite:
 

3. I know, right?  :
The stupidest saying in the entire world. Also shortened to "right?" because the proles who chose to use this word and too lazy to use proper English.
 
Jack: Dude, I just got a 50 percent on my math quiz.

Jackie: I know, right?


Jack: Wait, what? 
 
 
 I think what bothers me most about this phrase is that it comes from the movie Mean Girls. Mean Girls! Regina George says it. Now, is that who you want to end up like? Regina George? Did you see that movie? She gets hit by a bus!

In summary, stop using these mindless phrases. Or you will be hit by a bus.

4 comments:

Chris and Jen Wright said...

its also on HOT ROD. and it was funny. I love your blog.

Willi Nixon said...

hahahhahahah.

i love you. thats all.

Anna said...

My dog is sitting on the couch next to me, farting. Gross, he went to a friend's and ate catfood.

Anyway, I am guilty of saying, "I know, right!" I can't help it. It's sick.

But when I say, "Everything happens for a reason" it was to comfort someone who had a miscarriage... I really did mean it, I think miscarriages happen for a reason, like the baby wasn't forming right and your body decided not to keep going with it. Although, the next idiot who uses it to explain their dumb decision should be shot... or hit by a bus ;)

Jessica Brown said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud. Seriously. You crack me up. I think its safe to say that reading this blog today happened for a reason.:)